on self doubt
I hadn’t heard the voice in a while. The winter was very generous with my photography, offering plenty of chances to get out and make good images. But now, with the snow left, the voice is back…
I guess it never really left, it’s just a bit louder now. Whispering… “there’s nothing new out there”, “it’s been done before”, “you’ll fail”, “you are losing it”, “you are not good anymore”, “wait, have you ever been good?”.
What if the voice is right?
I don’t know what I’m doing. I love making images, but that doesn’t mean they are any good. Is that what I fear, deep inside? That the voice is right?
“I wonder if I am a raving lunatic for trying to make these things” - Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to a friend
I am not the only one who hears the voice, though. I’m sure you have, too. So have other artists, even the most accomplished ones. Many admit to hearing it even when they are creating their art.
How do they deal with that voice, then?
They are aware of the voice and its power; they know it feeds on your fears; they know fighting it is futile. They also know what that little voice is trying to hide with all its chatter. The spark we all have inside us.
Pay attention. Look closely. Feel it. It’s there—it’s always been there. Small, but mighty. Remember that even the biggest wildfires start from a spark. And that’s what the voice is trying to avoid.
Many times, the voice will succeed. Other times, it will have no choice but to retreat and let the fire burn.
This is a war that has been waged since we were born, one that will have to be fought every day for the rest of our lives. Some days, it will be easier. Some days, it will be harder.
I wish there was another way, but this is it.
Keep fighting, keep fueling the fire inside you.
new images
new videos
I love film. I love digital. I just love photography, of any kind. In this video, I share my thoughts on film photography and why I shoot mostly digital nowadays.
This newsletter, but in a video form :)
It’s been almost a month since I broke my camera, the A7Rii. I have plenty of other cameras so I thought I was going to be ok. I’ve been going out and making some images, but I have to say: I really miss it. Not sure why, but I do.
Luckily, it’s now fixed and on its way back home, ready for new adventures. I sure am ready too.
Hope you all have a great week, thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Adrian
This is a nice view into the vulnerability we all feel, even masters and professionals. Great post, thanks.
Thank you for this reminder Adrian. The voice had been growing in confidence lately, but this has helped me realise that and look again for the little spark.